Cacophonic Bard
Created by AstralFire

"What did you think of that?"
"I'd rather listen to a herd of dying walrus that had their throats ripped out than hear you sing. No offense."
- Shamito and Cantroth.

Some people were made to be bards.
Some people weren't.
Some people deserve to be thrown to an adult red dragon for attempting to be bards.

Cacophonic Bard (Cac) is a prestige class for those who had high hopes to be minstrels, but never really got anywhere with those dreams. Anyone who takes this class needs at least some bard training - even though they can't sing, they need bardic training and skills to learn how to focus their awful talents - whether or not they realize how horrible their abilities actually are is another matter.

Hit Die: d6

To qualify to become a Cacophonic Bard, a character must fulfill the following criteria:
Base Attack Bonus: +4
Stats: Charisma must be 11 or lower.
Alignment: Any non-lawful.
Skills: Perform (any): No higher than 0 ranks.
Special: If multi-classed, the character must have twice as many +1 bard levels as he does the sum of all his other class levels. (For example, a Ftr3/Rog3 would need 13 levels of bard to qualify.)

Class Skills:
The Cacophonic Bard's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Appraise (Int), Balance (Dex), Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Decipher Script (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Disguise (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Gather Information (Cha), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Knowledge (all skills, taken individually) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Int), Sense Motive (Wis), Sleight of Hand (Dex), Speak Language (n/a), Spellcraft (Int), Swim (Str), Tumble (Dex), Use Magic Device (Cha.)

Skill Points at Each Level: 6 + Int Modifier

Level BAB Fort Ref Will Special                    Spells per Day     
  1   +0  +0   +2   +2  Appearances are Deceiving  +1 Level of Bard Class
  2   +1  +0   +3   +3  Wild Muzak +1d6            +1 Level of Bard Class
  3   +2  +1   +3   +3  Freak Dancing              +1 Level of Bard Class
  4   +3  +1   +4   +4  Wild Muzak +2d6            +1 Level of Bard Class
  5   +3  +1   +4   +4  Make it Stop!              +1 Level of Bard Class
  6   +4  +2   +5   +5  Wild Muzak +3d6            +1 Level of Bard Class
  7   +5  +2   +5   +5  Broken Record              +1 Level of Bard Class
  8   +6  +2   +6   +6  Wild Muzak +4d6            +1 Level of Bard Class
  9   +6  +3   +6   +6  Irresistable Urge          +1 Level of Bard Class
  10  +7  +3   +7   +7  Wild Muzak +5d6            +1 Level of Bard Class

Class Features: All of the following are class features for the Cacophonic Bard prestige class:

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Cacophonic Bards learn to use their instruments, if not how to play them; they gain Exotic Weapon Proficiency (All Musical Instruments). Treat a musical instrument as a club with a x3 critical modifier. They gain no additional armor proficiencies, however.

Spells Per Day: The Cacophonic Bard gains has spells per day as a Bard of his Bard level + his Cacophonic Bard level.

Appearances are Deceiving: Cacophonic Bards learn how to deal with their bardic shortcomings. Somewhat. They may use their second-highest ability score instead of Charisma for Charisma-based skill checks and purposes of Bard spellcasting at their option.

Wild Muzak (Ex): Cacophonic Bards can get quite intimidating. Or annoying. We're not really sure. Either way, they sing a lot. As a standard action, a Cacophonic Bard can deliver a sonic attack to everyone within 30 feet capable of hearing (excluding himself) that deals the damage shown. A Will Save of DC(10+Bard Levels + Cacophonic Bard Levels) halves this damage. Use of an instrument instead of voice adds a +2 to the save DC.

Freak Dancing (Ex): Cacophonic Bards really like their music. When taking the full-defense option in combat, a Cacophonic Bard can start dancing to the music he hears in his head. Roll a d%:
01-22: Accidentally attack a randomly selected ally within 5 feet (unarmed strike.)
23-44: Critical Slip! The Cacophonic Bard falls prone, but the erraticness of the movement gives him a +5 to reflex saves and a +2 dodge bonus to his AC for the rest of the round.
45-66: Break Dancing. Attempt a trip attack against one of your opponents within 5 feet of you (selected at random). This provokes attacks of opportunity as normal (if the character does not have the Improved Trip feat.)
67-99: No Special Effect
100: Gettin' Jiggy. Everyone capable of seeing the Cacophonic Bard within 30 feet of the Cacophonic Bard must make a will save of DC (10+Bard Levels + Cacophonic Bard Levels) or be stunned for one round. People who have seen this done before by this particular Bard get a +5 to their rolls (stacks.)

Make it Stop! (Ex): Cacophonic Bards get a bonus to their Intimidate checks equal to their level in this class whenever they threaten to musically perform (to someone who has heard them before) or actually musically perform.

Broken Record (Ex): While they may have no actual musical talent, their enthusiasm for music allows them to remember things no normal person would. Whenever hearing something musical (even a child's chanting taunt songs), the Cacophonic Bard can remember it perfectly for all time (unless affected by a memory enchantment) and if he is music-literate, can write the notes down exactly.

Irresistable Urge (Ex): The Cacophonic Bard can no longer help himself; he is addicted to music. He must sing or hum something at least once per hour, or suffer a -2 Unhappiness Penalty to all rolls.

Ex-Cacophonic Bards (Ex): A Cacophonic Bard who becomes lawful, gains a Charisma of 12 or higher, or gains 1 rank of Perform or more loses all class-abilities (but not weapon proficiencies.)

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